i long for change and i long to be the person that i dreamt of being as i laid, fragil, as a child. i desiered a life of adventure and unbegotten romance, like that out of a novel. i want to see my life though rose-colored lenses and i want the smell of rain to forever linger on my skin. i want to be happy, and i will never be happy without being perfect.
i am currently in community college in florida where the sun is high and the heat can rise even higher. it is a dreadful existence because i am sharing a room with my mother and living with my aunt, uncle, cousin, and their dog. i have almost no free will and even less of a life. i don't get out much because i don't have many friends. most of my time is spent tutoring my aunt, studying, or working at my minimum wage job in retail.
i was born and raised in new york. i want to go back, and most of the time i think i am still their when i awake in the morning.
i live on coffee and cigarettes. don't judge me.
five feet, zero inches.
lowest: 140, highest: 160.
starting: 155, current: 148.
ultimate goal: 100.
150 145 140
135 130 125
120 115 110
if I can get to 130 by june, i'm getting the cutest bathing suit ever!
sizes
bra 36 C
shirt (in juniors) M/L
shirt (in misses) S/M
paints 31
to do:
- vegetarian diet
- complete book list
- apply to pittsburgh & st.johns
- finish community college by spring 2010
- move out of my aunts house
- german, and greek
- pass math
book list
*r: currently reading
- candide
- Metamorphosis
- Frankenstein
- Wuthering heights
- the Iliad and the odyssey
- Jesus interrupted
- Walden
- Faust
- Jane Eyre
- Aeneid
- the lord of the flies
- the republic
- war and peace
- gone with the wind
- the divine comedy
- the prince
- mein kampf
- communist manifesto
- a man's search for mening
- brave new world
- the fall
- the perks of being a wallflower
- the years
- the bell jar
- sophies world *r
- leviathan
- fear and trembling
- nausea
shopping:
- ticket to brazil!!
- jewelry!
- planner